


Keep Your Friends Close (And Your Enemies Closer)

by Haygirl97



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Online Dating, Angst, Dot & Fatin are friendship goals, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Found Family, Gen, Group Therapy, Internalized Homophobia, Island? What island?, Multi, Secret dating, Secret nerd Toni, Slow(ish) Burn, Some Canon Stuff, The Happy Ending they all deserve, Work In Progress, background leatin, bad bitch Martha, pushing my Toni & Rachel friendship agenda, some fluff in between the angst I promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:14:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29270835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haygirl97/pseuds/Haygirl97
Summary: "Control’s not easy. Control's a fucking fantasy."When 17 year old Toni Shalifoe gets a sudden foster placement transfer to the backwater hellhole she calls Texas, a state wide quarantine order and some chance encounters turn her life upside down.OrThe enemies to lovers AU where the Unsinkable 8 form in online class and Toni and Shelby navigate the complexities of.. well.. whatever this clusterfuck is.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 34
Kudos: 115





	1. Control's a fucking fantasy

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there!  
> After being given a 2020 High School Au prompt I just had to create this story. Although it will mainly focus on Toni and Shelby's tumultuous enemies to lovers relationship, I plan to include a bit of background info and subplots on most of the girls but particularly Dot and Martha as they are criminally underrated (In my opinion). Some of the major plot points of the the show will hopefully be rewritten to fit into in a Highschool/ College setting :) Please feel free to give any feedback as this is my first ever time writing.  
> I hope you enjoy

Control had never really been Toni's strong point.

It hadn't in third grade when she punched her first and last 'boyfriend' in the face after he tried to eat the class goldfish.

It hadn't in 9th grade when she was suspended for two weeks after getting caught trashing her group's shelter and shoving her teammate in their Native American heritage workshop (much to the chagrin of her best friend)

And it certainly hadn't when last week Toni was caught flinging her own piss at the arguably satanic basketball coach that has had it in for her ever since she started this god forsaken Highschool.

It was this specific incident that had landed her once again waiting outside of the Principal’s office, listening at the door for the inevitable sighs of disappointment and the usual "we'll make sure this never happens again” speech from her foster parents and social worker.. Toni winced at the thought of her foster parents, truly believing didn’t deserve the shit she put them through. Yeah her foster dad drank a little too much on weekends, and her foster mom spent most of her time zoned out on the couch letting her kids wild out, but they were a hell of a lot better than some places she’d been and they gave her the freedom to do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted, for better or for worse.

Her phone lit up with another set of messages from Martha.

**The first week of senior year Toni?**

**That's got to be a new record**

**I know you’re ignoring me...**

**I'm sorry T, I know you're going through something right now**

This was the part she hated the most, Toni thought, letting the waves of guilt crash over her as Martha’s disappointed face came to the forefront of her mind.

**Toni please, its okay, I’m sure your foster fam will be fine, it’s kinda understandable after what you and Regan went through…**

Martha’s disappointed face wasn’t the only one she was seeing now.

Right on cue, the reality of what she’d done had kicked in. She could never escape it for long.

**Marty I’m so sorry you had to see that**

The memories of the weekend before came flooding in before she could even attempt to stop them. Her last date with Regan before school started. Her fist accidentally connecting with the face she loved most in the world; the fleeting yet unforgettable look of fear in Regans eyes; the breakup, the familiar red mist on the basketball court .. and now the sinking feeling of regret that came when Martha was too fucking understanding for her own good.

She jumped at the sound of chairs scraping against the linoleum and tried not to think about the conversation she would be having when they got home.

_"Thanks so much for your time"_ Her foster dad shook the hand of the principal with a pained look on his face, _"We'll make sure this never happens again"._

If Toni had been paying attention instead of letting Martha cheer her up with gifs of puppies, Toni would have seen the pained look that passed over both the principal and her social worker's face.

_"Come on, we have something to discuss when we get home"_ Her Foster mom somehow managed to make opening the door terrifying, but Martha was filling Toni in on her day, and she'd learned to not question her bad moods. 

Not everyone was a fan of her current home situation of course. Martha ran herself ragged trying to convince Toni that she was worth so much more than the half- hearted attempts of reconciliation from her mom and her series of messed up foster families that clearly had no more interest in Toni than they would a forgotten pet.

But that would all be over soon, Toni reasoned with herself on the strangely silent car ride home as she tried to ignore the looks her foster parents were giving her. One more year and she and Martha would be able to put this teenage drama bullshit behind them and save up some money, maybe rent an apartment somewhere near the reservation so they could still visit mama B. Toni could watch Martha go to college and become a world renowned author while she.. well.. that was the million dollar question wasn’t it.

_"Toni sit down, we have some news"_

She should have seen this coming

* * *

"Are you sure this is really necessary?" Toni's foster mom pleaded with her social worker as Toni was sat in complete shock on the living room floor. Texas. Fucking Texas of all places.

If she hadn’t just had her entire world ripped away from her, she would have been surprised to hear a note of sadness coming from her foster mom’s frantic voice.

_“Texas is just so far away”_ her foster dad added. He didn’t actually care of course. He would just miss having someone to push around. Bastard is probably gonna start on his real kids when I’m gone, thought Toni bitterly. But maybe her foster mom would actually miss her..

"If there was anywhere else closer to send her we would, but we have a three strikes and you're out policy for foster placements and that was unfortunately Toni's third strike"

Third strike was being lenient. If they counted all of her outbursts she would have been in at least the fifties. luckily for her they only counted physical contact and Toni, no matter how angry she was, had always tried to never hurt people. Not in school anyway. And not the people she loved.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"But I never even touched her" Her voice broke "I know it was out of line but I didn't mean to.."

_"This isn't about coach Toni"_

Fuck. 

The phrase "danger to students" flew across the room and struck Toni in the heart like a knife.

Regan. The cinema. Her parents must have gone to the police..

It was an accident.They had to know that.

"We have a house specially equipped to deal with..problem.. foster children in Dallas.. the only one of its kind "

The rest of senior year. In Texas. Without Marty.

"Maybe there she'll learn some respect" 

That was the final blow.

If this had happened a year.. hell, even a week before, Toni would have felt her signature almost uncontrollable burst of rage she tried so hard to contain. But after what happened with Regan over the weekend, Toni wasn't sure she felt anything anymore. 

**I fucked up Marty I really fucked up**

**I’m sure we can figure it out T**

**It’ll be okay I promise** **😊**

Martha and her endless optimism almost killed Toni sometimes. I could spend my whole life trying, thought Toni, and I still would never never be good enough to deserve her. 

**Not this time**

“This is definitely my karma” she muttered.

This was it. This was her punishment.

" I deserve this"

* * *

Toni used to believe in god. When she was little Church was where she and her mom would always go together.

"Our special place" her mom had called it.

Of course mom used to drop her off at the church group afterwards and use the free time for god knows what illegal activity, but of course Toni didn't find that out until later. Now the whole idea of God and church just seemed to mock her as she heard the familiar sound of her phone ringing.

Being forced out of the only decent foster home she’d ever had and moving to the middle of buttfuck nowhere was bad enough, but the state wide quarantine order and online school shit was just the icing on the cake. She'd found out on the ride to the airport with Martha and her mom that she wouldn't even be attending her new school in person. Needless to say she did not take that well.

Still, whispered the small voice in the back of her mind, you brought this on yourself.

_“At least you wont actually have to talk to people face to face”_ Martha giggled from the dimly lit phone screen as Toni finished unpacking her bags in her new room. She knew Martha was putting on a brave face for her, the tender goodbye at the airport 5 hours ago still fresh in both their minds.

“Yeah I suppose that’s a plus”

_“Which means you’re less likely to punch them..”_

“Oh Shut up Marty that’s still too soon” Toni jokingly threw a paper ball from her bookbag at the propped up screen on the windowsill, knowing that she could never really be mad at her, at least not for more than five seconds.

_"Hey I was talking about Tyler, not Regan, it's not my fault we need to start keeping a list"_

Martha. Toni frequently wondered what she'd done in a past life to deserve such unwavering loyalty when she'd done nothing but fuck up. 

“So what do you think? Do you like it” Toni panned the camera around the room so she could see the tiny box room Toni had been put in when she arrived about an in an hour ago. It wasn’t exactly the most luxury accommodation, there was only a small twin bed and a desk that looked like it had seen better days, but Martha had been dictating Toni’s unpacking efforts and had managed to make it look almost homey.

_"No offence T, but it's still the second most depressing thing I've ever seen in my life"_

Toni and Martha agreed on many things, from great music to shitty movies, but apparently the definition of homey wasn't something they had in common. It's not like I don't try, she thought to herself. Her and Martha had spent the whole day before she left buying posters to make up for the fact that Toni didn't exactly have a lot of belongings to take with her. Belonging wasn't even a word she usually had in her vocabulary. She was more of a take what you can carry and get the fuck out kinda girl.

"If this shitshow is the second then I don't even think I want to know the first"

* * *

One week later and Toni was finally starting to settle in to her "new start", as mama B called it on the phone.Toni didn't want to think about the heartbreak she was putting her second mom through. She knew her and Martha were trying hard to be positive for her, they spoke almost every day and had been putting together care packages they could mail when they were allowed.

Stupid fucking pandemic. As if the timing could be any worse.

Her new foster parents were okay at least. A little too churchlike for her taste but she had expected that, what with the whole 'living in Texas thing'. What she hadn't expected was the vast extent of rules that were thrown at her as soon as she stepped one foot in the door. They were a very 'shoes off inside and only age appropriate conversation' family. She had expected a curfew of course, maybe one or two house rules, and the overwhelming feeling like she was just staying in someones guest room for a while. In fact she hadn't expected a family at all. She thought she was being shipped off to some military group home.This was a whole different ball game, and Toni was not used to being surprised. She got used to the rules quickly though, adapting to her surroundings as well as she could. Her curfew was nine, but since she knew nobody there and school was online it wasn't like she would have anywhere to go.

Monday morning soon rolled around and Toni woke up to a quiet knock on her bedroom door. It was her new foster mom Carol, holding a laptop to her chest and looking at Toni with a strange look in her eyes that Toni couldn't quite place.

_"We didn't realise you don't have a laptop, you're gonna need one for school today"_

"Shit I'm sorry" she'd totally forgotten that in this nightmare she'd actually have to start a new school... without even meeting anyone. No more borrowing Martha's sticker covered monstrosity of a laptop for her assignments.

Carol looked at her reproachfully as she came in and placed it carefully on her desk.

Cursing seemed to be the one rule here Toni struggled with the most. The other bullshit she could get used to, but since about eighty five percent of what came out of her moth was 'Ungodlike', she wasn't exactly in her new foster family's good books.

_"Mathew said that you could have his old one as long as you're careful with it"_

Mathew didn't exactly give Toni good vibes. Neither of them did. She couldn't exactly put her finger on it, but there was something odd about them and the way they looked at her. It wasn't quite pity, but it wasn't exactly friendliness either. They looked at with a sort of uncertainty that made her uncomfortable, like they were trying to figure her out.

Good luck to them, she snorted quietly, plugging in the clearly second hand laptop and hoping it worked. The only person who had come near enough to figuring her out was Martha and even then there were parts of her Martha hadn't seen. Regan had been close too, but even Toni herself wasn't sure she knew what was hidden deep down. Carol left and closed the door silently behind her. A small gesture Toni appreciated as she hadn't exactly had a lot of privacy at her old home. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

Of course, the universe has a wicked sense of humor.

* * *

_" I do real.."_

Toni rolled her eyes so hard they may as well have touched the back of her skull. It was only her second class of the day and she already felt like throwing either herself or the shitty laptop out of the tiny window.

_" I do family"_ Whoever's idea it was to go around the class introducing themselves,Toni was cursing them. She hated Icebreakers.

_"I do Jesus"_ Of course you do. Everyone does in this backwater town apparently. 

She knew this was going to happen. The pretty blonde Texan's accent was so strong she could almost feel it calling her a slur through the screen.

_" And I do pageants"_

That was the last straw. They were only ten minutes into Math but Toni slammed the lid of the laptop down and chose to take a rage nap instead. Out of all the places she could have been sent off to it just had to be Texas. By the time she woke up it was almost two and she had missed almost almost all her classes. Fucking fantastic. Now she was going to have to deal with the fallout of that as well.

As she sat up and tried not to think about how angry, or worse, disappointed her new foster fam would be,Toni checked her phone and was surprised to see a message from an unknown number. 

**Hey. It's Shelby from Math class**

**I hope you don't mind, the school gave me your number and asked me to check if you were okay.**

**I'm good. Just some internet trouble**

**Okay good. I've been assigned to keep an eye on all the newbies.**

That's weird. Toni thought she would have been the only new girl. Senior Year wasn't exactly the prime time to switch schools

**I'll be messaging you every so often to check up on you**

**Hope that's okay**

Fuck. Toni wished she wasn't so bad with names. She had spent most of that lesson ignoring people's introductions and instead looking at peoples screen background's in a subconscious attempt to find something in common with one of them. She would never admit that of course. Her plan was to keep her head down, get through the year with minimal offenses, and get back home to Martha. She wasn't here to make friends.

But if Toni had to pick a favourite...there was only one girl Toni liked the look of, and it definitely wasn't the smug blonde with 'Jesus Loves You' instead of her name at the bottom of her screen. The rest seemed okay, a little quiet for her taste, but Toni felt drawn to the ginger girl with the Guns and Roses poster and dyed blue streaks in her hair. She clearly wasn't paying attention either and Toni respected that. Toni had looked at the bottom of her screen and hoped to see the name Shelby, but instead of a name the girl had just typed 'Bored'. Toni wondered how long it would be before a teacher noticed it.

Toni secretly hoped the text was from her, but she had played it cool just in case it was one of the freaks with the Trump posters or Live Laugh Love signs. So fucking typical that those two were the only ones that didn't have their names at the bottom of the screen. For some reason the universe always seemed to be playing a sick joke on her

At two thirty she opened her laptop again and came face to face with the blonde freak and the ginger girl in her AP Psychology class. This time she was joined by a somber looking pale girl, unusually pale for Texas, and two girls who were clearly in the same household judging by the commotion coming through both their screens. None of these girls had their names at the bottom of their screens either. Typical.

_"Alright guys, if we could please make sure our microphones are off"_

The two girls started arguing and Toni saw the ginger girl laugh fondly at them. They must be friends, Toni thought. Lucky.

" _Okay now that's over.."_

The two girls shared a screen now. They must be sisters.

That thought sent a spike of pain through Toni's chest.

Sisters. Some people were born with them. But Toni chose hers.

_"We'll be starting this term learning about Control and Conformity"_ Perfect.. the two things I don't exactly know much about.

Still, Toni pulled out her notebook and actually paid attention whilst Mr Davies explained the his class rules. She liked Psychology, her and Martha spent way too much time using it to psychoanalyse all the teachers and now it was one of her favourite subjects. His last rule got a reaction from the class that startled Toni. Out of all the classes of the day, his was the only one where having your camera on was a requirement. The class groaned but Toni was grateful. If she was going to be stuck learning online from her boring room all year, she could at least try to live vicariously through other people... 

_"Okay Shelby, you've been in my class before"_ Toni was pulled from her daydream immediately at the name. There was only two people it could be and she hoped to whatever god other people believed in that it wasn't the blonde.

_"Would you like to tell us about the Asch Line test your group conducted_ _last year"_

_"Yes of course Sir"_

Fuck.

The blood rushing through Toni's ears made it hard to hear anything else she was saying. Of course it had to be her. Of course Toni couldn't catch a fucking break and be paired with someone she would have a least a chance of being friends with. Of all the numbers she had been given in her life this was the one Toni wished she could refuse.

What does checking up on me even mean. Toni read the messages again and they somehow seemed more sinister now. I bet it's some dumb pity party to make me feel better. Just another volunteer job to make her stupid college application look better. As if Shelby could ever make her feel less shitty than she did right now.

Toni was so angry she almost didn't hear Mr Davies call on her after Shelby's stupid explanation. She missed the beginning of the question but caught the end..

_".. So in these circumstances what does control mean to you? "_

She knew that Mr Davies meant in terms of control groups, of course she knew that. 

But control had never been Toni's strong point after all.

"Control" she snapped

Nothing in her life had ever been in her control. Not her mom leaving, not the various foster placements she was shipped off to.

"Adults love to throw that word around" The other girls faces turned towards their screens. If they hadn't been paying attention before they definitely were now.

"Always telling us to use it, not to lose it. To get ourselves under it. Like it’s the easiest thing in the world"

Toni had never had the luxury of being in control of her life. So how could everybody sit there and expect her to understand what it means.

Toni's eyes found Shelby's pixelated face on her screen. 

**"Control's not easy. Control's a fucking fantasy"**


	2. What a Waste of a Pretty Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m trying my hand at a slow burn so thank you for sticking with it. Be prepared for more Shelby and Toni angst in the next few chapters but for now, have some more moody Toni with a few unexpected encounters.
> 
> TW: This chapter and the rest of the story will mention Martha's sexual abuse and its's consequences. Although no sexual abuse will actively happen in this fic i just thought I'd put a warning for it.

Mr Davies hadn’t reacted how Toni had expected. She wasn’t exactly surprised though. Everything here was so new to her, it was like stepping into a parallel universe.

She was expecting to be punished for her outburst and sent straight to the Principal’s office... well... the virtual one anyway. Instead Mr Davies had thanked her for her viewpoint and began discussing the relativity of control in relation to personal backgrounds and circumstances. That was a comforting thought at least. She wasn’t the only one who thought control was bullshit.

Texas is more backwards than I thought, she scoffed as she curled up on her bed and texted Martha about her shitshow of a first day.

**Hey it’s not all bad, at least he didn’t give you detention**

**I like him. He listened to you** **😊**

Martha was right as usual. At home this wouldn’t even be given a second thought. Her classmates would dismiss it as another classic Toni outburst and the teachers would just roll their eyes and send her straight to detention without bothering to even think about what happened or why…Toni pushed that line of thought from her brain as she tried to figure out how she would explain all this to her foster parents. She didn’t want to think about the pitiful looks she got all class. She didn’t want to think about how happy it made her that someone listened to her for once.

Instead she decided to go straight to bed and think of nothing at all.

* * *

Back home in Minnesota, whilst Toni was sleepily explaining her slightly more broken laptop to her foster dad, Martha and her mom were discussing Toni’s first day. The house seemed so empty without Toni and no matter how hard they tried, nothing had felt the same since she had left. Toni had been a part of the Blackburn family’s life for so long that even Martha’s younger sisters were feeling her absence.

_“I’m worried about her, mom.”_

Toni had said her first week settling in was okay, just quiet. But Martha knew that was because Toni didn’t want to worry her. Ever the protector.

_“She always seems so unhappy but this is like… a new level”_

Bernice sighed and wished there was a way she could have kept them together. Unbeknownst to the girls, she had tried several times to take Toni in officially. She’d filled out the paperwork several different times but there was always a reason for it to be denied, the most recent being Martha’s court case last year. She had never been so grateful to have Toni than that day. It was Toni who had helped Martha through the god awful realisation of what happened to her, and held Bernice’s hand as they sat through the trial listening to Martha defend the man who did such terrible things to their girl.

Every memory she had with her daughter since the age of seven, Toni was there too. Making her daughter laugh harder than she ever had before they met.

Bernice would move heaven and earth for her daughters, and there was no doubt in her mind that Toni was one of them…

_"I know, but something tells me this might be what she needs._

_A fresh start, teachers who don’t already know her...”_

_“I just wish there was something we could do to make it easier”_

Mama B, as she was affectionately known, would do anything for her kids. She was the mastermind behind every coincidence that brought Toni and Martha closer together, knowing that they needed each other. She wasn’t afraid to do what was necessary.

_“Well maybe there is”_

* * *

The offending email came through on Toni’s phone Tuesday morning, waking her up after a long night of wondering what the fuck was wrong with her foster family. Or rather, what wasn’t?

Once again, nothing last had gone as Toni expected. When Carol had called her down for dinner and woken her up their silence about her missing class was deafening. Instead, they forced her to sit with them at the table and asked her what her favourite part of her day was. They clearly didn’t know yet, Toni had concluded, completely ignoring the possibility of them not minding her truancy. She’d had enough bad experiences to know that the world didn’t work that way.. and even the ones who were nice enough at the start quickly turned nasty when nobody was looking.

Her suspicions seemed to be confirmed when Mathew didn’t say anything about the laptop. He just smiled at her and said it was okay with a strange look on his face, like she owed him something now. Some things never change.

**_Miss Shalifoe,_ **

**_After an anonymous source contacted us with concerns for your wellbeing, we are inviting you to attend a mandatory meeting with the school counsellor next Monday at 3:30._ **

**_The meeting shall be in Person. Room 5 in the English building._ **

**_We look forward to seeing you there,_ **

**_The Mind Team_ **

Her phone hit the wall when she realised that someone from psych class yesterday must have ratted her out. Shelby. It had to be her. Nobody else could be so obnoxiously involved in everyone’s life. Even when she didn’t know them apparently. Fucking fantastic. Toni groaned dramatically again as she checked her schedule for the day and realised she was gonna have to deal with Shelby in at least two classes again today. Toni couldn’t stand snitches, and the fact that it was Shelby of all people just made the situation a million times worse. Toni didn’t need saving and particularly hated the kind of people that went round claiming Jesus loved her. It was a nice fairy-tale, but a hard thing to believe when her entire life seemed proof that he didn’t

The only upside to this whole situation was that she would actually get to see someone in person, even if it was just some shitty High School Counsellor who would just tell her to breathe or try some count to ten bullshit. The last time she had tried that she had counted to ten and then still keyed her English teacher's car. Toni smiled as she realised that’s exactly the conversation she and Marty would have had if she was here. Damn. She really was going crazy without her.

After shooting Marty the usual morning rant and telling her about the weirdness of last night, Toni got ready for another day of nothing. Online classes were proving to be more boring than real ones, and the fact that she didn’t even have any of her teammates to talk to in lessons made her feel lonely. Not that she’d ever admit that of course, even to Martha.

**You’ve got this T**

**Its only for a year <3**

**It’ll fly by**

Neither of them really believed that.

* * *

The first week of online classes passed quickly, with the Texan heat creeping in through the tiny window getting hotter every day.

Even though Toni only had Math and Psychology with Shelby, the rage she felt at her for barging into Toni’s private life was all consuming. The rational part of her mind, the one Toni so often ignored, was telling her that she didn’t know it was Shelby. It could have been anybody.

But even her logical side gave up on that argument when a text came through from her asking how she was feeling and if she was settling in okay. Toni ignored it. In her mind that was all the proof she needed. In Shelby’s mind it was proof that Toni had no manners.

This was arguably the start of the most infamous rivalry the school had seen in years. It lasted a grand total of six months and nobody could pinpoint the reason why. At first Toni only shot down all of Shelby’s answers in class and Shelby politely defended them, but it soon escalated to personal attacks as Shelby found her backbone after being called a Princess in a debate about the prison system that turned nasty.

_“Well I’d rather be a princess than end up in some prison like you will”_

Shelby regretted that as soon as she said it, the lord wouldn’t want her to respond in such a childish manner, but she was too proud to apologise. Besides, Toni gave as good as she got, and she was quick to reply with a retort that burned in Shelby’s brain for days afterwards.

As a strange twisted punishment, they had been placed in the same breakout room the next day to discuss the psychology of nuclear families. As soon as the words homosexuality came out of Shelby's mouth, Toni was gone. She didn't want to wait around and hear about her 'sinful lifestye', especially not from Shelby Goodkind, the poster child for the fucking Westboro Baptist Church. What kind of a name was Goodkind anyway. She didn't believe it was her actual name when she first heard it. It just seemed too perfect, as if Shelby was begging Toni to hate her.

None of their teachers could figure out why the usually good-tempered and polite Shelby was stooping to the level of the new girl with the impressive skill for name calling. Honestly neither could Shelby. There was just something about Toni that brought out another side of her. They wouldn't see the full extent of that side until later. If you’d have asked either of them to sum up their relationship by the end of that first week, they would have said they hated each other. Or as close as Shelby Goodkind could get to hatred anyway. Of course, this wasn’t exactly the truth.

Even though they would never admit it, they were fascinated by each other from the beginning.

_“I don’t know why you’re getting so riled up at her, she's probably not that bad"_

Martha had answered the phone for their first weekend movie night in her frog blanket to cheer Toni up. It worked. Toni was feeling the most relaxed she had in the whole time she had been there, until somehow the topic of conversation had turned to Shelby Goodkind.

“Listen Marty, I know you see the good in people,

which is real cool and real annoying the same time…”

Martha laughed and rolled her eyes. They’d had this conversation a million different times with a million different people. Toni didn’t exactly warm to anyone quickly.

“..But even you would struggle to see the good in her if you met her”

Even as she said it Toni didn’t believe it. Marty had the incredible skill of seeing the good in everybody. Still, Toni felt the strange need to defend her views on Shelby.

_“Jeez that’s intense, she must have done something big”_

"Nah, she's just an annoying bigot who doesn't know when to shut up"

Toni almost told her about Shelby snitching to the school. Her Senior Year would have been a lot less eventful if she had. Martha would have admitted that it was her and her mom who actually sent that email and Toni would probably have directed the majority of her anger at them instead . But Toni didn’t want to worry Marty by admitting she had been referred to this counselling bullshit. She was already worried enough about Toni’s new foster family and whether they were treating her okay, she didn’t need anything else to stress about. So, she kept her mouth shut.

As they settled into the movie, some teenage Island drama Martha had picked out, Toni was glad that she at least didn’t have to lie about her new foster family. She had been suspicious of them, and still was, but so far they had been nothing but decent to her. Very strict with their weird rules, but Toni found the routine of doing dumb chores and making dinner mildly comforting. Maybe she had missed out on this structure thing everyone was raving about in psych class. Or maybe it was just nice to be kept busy when you didn’t have any friends to hang with anymore.

Not that Toni needed them. She was more used to either admiration or loathing depending entirely on whether she was on the basketball court that day. Nobody but Martha had really managed to get close enough to her, and she didn’t exactly make it easy for them. Except for Regan of course. Regan had managed to slip through the cracks in Toni's defences faster than anyone.. But Toni didn’t want to think about that.

* * *

“You have got to be fucking kidding me”

Toni’s face fell as Mrs Winter sent the google document with everybody’s pairings for the term on Monday. Toni’s name next to Shelby’s stood out against all the rest of her classmates and for the first time, but definitely not the last, Toni cursed the very fucking existence of Shelby Goodkind. Since the school was worried about students becoming isolated, homework was now apparently being given in pairs. Out of all the times to give a shit about their students it just had to be now. Fuck. Toni was already struggling with the idea of math at 10am on a fucking Monday, but this was the final straw.

Mrs Winter stared at Toni with her usual ‘You better shut up before I make you’ glare, but she felt a strange sense of validation when she heard the ginger girl she liked snicker and try to cover it with a cough. She’d swapped out the blue hair dye for red this week and honestly it suited her. Toni still didn’t know her name as she never seemed to be called on, but the girl was in both classes she had with Shelby and had been Toni’s silent hype woman whenever shit was going down between her and the demon blonde. At least that girl knew how this would end. Mrs Winter seemed totally fucking oblivious to the fact that Toni and Shelby couldn’t be in the same breakout room for five minutes before one of them had to log out. Either that or she was trying to make her sad life more interesting by instigating a fight.

As Toni had predicted, Shelby did not take the news well either. At least they were on the same page for once.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, with Toni noticing more and more about the people in her classes every second. She was particularly interested in the sisters today, since they didn’t seem to be as cheerful as they usually were and were clearly in different locations on separate screens.

**So I guess we’re stuck with each other**

Toni didn’t have time for this. She had just finished her last class of the day and was trying to frantically google how far it was from her new house to the school. She begrudgingly replied to Shelby this time though, knowing that she would at least have to attempt to be civil.

**Seems like it**

Toni hated to admit it, but she needed to do well in this class. She had been falling behind in math at her old school and now had to catch up so that when she graduated she would still have good enough grades for a basketball scholarship to somewhere. Google's answer to her question didn’t make her feel any better about this stupid meeting. She would have to walk at least two miles and it was already almost 3:00.

Today just keeps getting better doesn’t it.

* * *

_… What a waste of a pretty face.._

Toni stopped dead in her tracks down the empty English corridor, immediately forgetting about her shitty first session with the counsellor. Well, it had been okay. It was refreshing to talk to someone that didn’t already have reasons to hate her. The counselling she had been forced to go to last year wasn’t exactly the best and honestly it just made her feel worse. She wished she hadn’t opened up so much to this one though. You tell someone you miss home ONE time and you get stuck meeting with them once a week.

_…What a waste, that face, that face, what a waste.._

She recognised that song. It made her heart hurt. It was a song Martha had shown her that surprised Toni. Marty was more of a Taylor Swift kind of girl, so Bones UK wasn’t exactly her style. Still, both the girls loved it and listened to it frequently on their way home from school.

_…What a waste of a pretty face..._

God how long were these fucking corridors. Toni hadn’t even realised she was following the music whilst she was daydreaming about her old life with Marty. She wasn’t exactly sure why she was following it either. Why can’t people just learn to use headphones she grumbled. The thought of Marty had put her deeper into a bad mood. She missed her.

Toni was so deep in thought that she collided spectacularly with a familiar freckled face. The 'bored' girl, as Toni had started to call her, saw Toni just a little too late and tried to jump back but both girls still ended up knocked to the floor. Toni sprung to her feet defensively, her mind quickly running through the potential situations she could find herself in. Her fists balled up, an automatic defence mechanism she had developed over her several years of fighting. She didn’t really believe that this would end up in a fight, the girl seemed too calm in class to be the defensive type, but Toni didn’t want to be surprised by a punch to the nose.

“Shit I’m so sorry I wasn’t…”

She stumbled over her apology, kicking herself for looking so stupid in front of the one girl she wanted to be friends with in this whole fucking school. Almost in tears at her own stupidity and anger at the whole shitty introduction, Toni held her hand out to the girl in an invitation of friendship. It probably wasn’t gonna work, but Toni was past the point of caring. Instead of verbally abusing her as Toni imagined she would, the ginger girl stared at herself on the floor in shock, then looked up at Toni and laughed. Not a sarcastic one either, a real genuine laugh.

After taking Toni’s hand and pulling herself up, she looked around at all the shit that had fallen out of her bag, paused the music that had still been playing on her phone and picked up the carton of cigarettes that had fallen next to Toni’s foot.

The girl held one out to Toni, who stood there frozen with a strange mix of anger and confusion on her face.

_“You look like you need one of these dude”_

Toni hadn’t smoked since she’d got there. She'd stopped enjoying them when she didn’t have Regan to smoke with and hadn’t had the heart to start again without her. But fuck it. She took it willingly, an unspoken bond immediately forming between them.

Years later, when Toni would reminisce on her Senior Year of Highschool, Toni would recognise that one small gesture as the starting point of something bigger than all of them.

_“Come on, I know a good spot”_

_"Whats your name?"_

_"..Toni"_

_" Dot, nice to meet you and all that shit"_


	3. Going Full Breakfast Club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hopefully going to be posing longer chapters now i'm getting into the swing of things, so be prepared for some angst and some Shelby POV's next chapter :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy

_“So they finally dragged your petty ass to counselling then?”_

Dot and Toni stood side by side leaning against the back doorway to the gym, out of sight from the many cameras installed on campus. Toni hadn’t known what to think when Dot started leading her away from the English block and out through the open football fields, but nobody had approached her with such ease since Marty had bounced up to her in 2nd grade, so she followed.

“Bold of you to assume I’m here for counselling, maybe I just love school”

Dot grinned at Toni’s sarcasm and offered her a lighter.

 _“Or maybe Shelby sent you over the edge”_ Yeah, that sounded about right.

Toni wasn’t usually one for starting conversations… or carrying them on for that matter. Martha was the extrovert of their strange friendship and Toni was just along for the ride. But there was something honest about Dots face that made Toni feel more at ease than she had in the two weeks she’d been there. Plus, she’d helped her through several encounters with Shelby and her weird vendetta... Fuck. She still had no idea why she thought about her so often. As a distraction from her own weird thoughts, Toni threw herself cross legged on the floor and uncharacteristically gestured for Dot to join her. If she was gonna be stuck here for a year she may as well try to make some friends.

“What about you?”

Dorothy, or Dot as she liked to be known, was the only other person she’d seen on campus and she wondered why. She didn’t seem like the type to come to school when she didn’t have to.

_“Well, counselling the only reason they let students come here nowadays, so either I’m here for the shitty therapy or I’m a sucker for punishment”_

This girl was more of a wild card that Toni anticipated. Seeing people through a screen didn’t exactly give you the whole picture, and this girl was no exception. They spent almost all afternoon in that spot, discussing everything from the best camera free spots for smoking to Dots strange (and illegal) relationship with half the people in their school. Damn. Texas had more in common with home than she thought. Toni briefly wondered why Dot was telling her all this but dismissed it as she wasn’t going to question the one good thing that had happened since she’d moved here. She would have to fill Martha in on this later.

Without really knowing how it happened, the conversation suddenly turned back to Shelby Goodkind and her strange rivalry with Toni. It was apparently so out of character for her that even Dot was surprised, and the stoic girl sat next to her didn’t seem like the type of person to surprise easily. As hard as she tried, Toni couldn’t stop herself from making a malicious comment about Shelby and Dot’s response surprised her more than anything else had so far.

_“I know it sounds crazy, but she wasn’t always like this...we actually used to be friends”_

Toni attempted to imagine it, but just couldn’t picture a young Dot and Shelby getting along. Dot seemed to be the furthest thing you could get from the picture-perfect Shelby, her cargo shorts and various band t-shirts not exactly matching Shelby’s princess vibe.

The shock on her face must have been obvious, as Dot laughed and went on to explain that her dad used to be their soccer coach, so Shelby and Dot saw each other a lot as kids. They’d grown up together and at one point they were even friends. Toni didn’t question the sad tone that crept into Dots voice when she talked about her dad. Who was she to pry? They barely knew each other, and Dot had already let slip that she was dealing to half the kids in the school so she didn’t ask.

Instead she asked Dot what happened. The two girls clearly weren’t still friends, if they were Dot wouldn’t have been so eager to tell her that Andrew, Shelby’s boyfriend, was Dots best customer.

“ _When her dad was away on mission trips all the time it was all fine”_ Mission trips… She should have figured they were all colonisers.

_“Obviously they were still very churchy, but not nearly as bad as they are now… Then in about 7 th grade her dad came back permanently and I wasn’t allowed over again. I still don’t really know why”_

Weird.

Something in Dot’s voice made Toni realise she didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so she switched the topic to the sisters. Dot shot her a grateful smile and explained that Rachel and Nora had moved here halfway through freshman year after their parents took a job lecturing at the University nearby. Their sibling rivalry was infamous around the school and Dot spoke fondly about being their favourite mediator when shit blew up between them. They seemed like odd people for Dot to be friends with, but Toni wasn’t about to question Dot’s choice of friends when she literally only had one.

They chatted about the other students in their shared classes for a little while longer, but the time soon came for Toni to go home. The lights were starting to turn on across the football field and Toni didn’t want to find out how her foster parents would react if she was late.

As they both got up to leave, Dot surprised them both by asking Toni for her number. If she was being honest with herself, Dot wasn’t sure why she had revealed some of her biggest secrets to the strange new girl, or why she felt so comfortable with her. She wasn’t exactly a people person, especially after the events of last year, and was even struggling to be around her friends. Talking with Toni was different though, she decided on her way home, it was nice to talk to finally talk someone who didn’t look at her like her dad just died.

* * *

_“God helps those who help themselves Toni”_

Only Shelby could manage to bring God up in a fucking math class. It would have been impressive if it wasn’t so annoying.

“You know that’s not literal right?"

"He’s not gonna jetpack down and give you the answers”

Shelby rolled her eyes and continued while Toni felt the overwhelming urge to log out. It wasn’t that religion bothered her. People could believe what delusional thing they wanted. But the blonde’s constant boner for Jesus was driving her insane.

Her phone buzzed as a familiar text from Dot came through.

**I’m surprised you’ve not killed her yet**

Dot never failed to text Toni every time Shelby said something dumb in class, which led to them talking pretty much every day that week.

**Only because you won’t tell me where she lives**

At first, they had only talked about Shelby and her annoying habit of interrupting the teacher with some useless story. Then it progressed to Dot sending her articles about Andrew’s arrest that Shelby clearly didn’t know about. By the time it got round to Friday, they had started talking about more personal shit. Maybe it was some weird intuition, or maybe Dot could see how sad Toni was when she thought nobody was looking, but that night Dot had facetimed Toni after class to check on her.

It was a good job she did, as Toni wasn’t sure what she would have done if she was left alone. Martha had sent her a video Friday morning, just a stupid one of her and another girl Toni didn’t know messing around in class, but Toni went cold. The thought of Martha hanging out with people at home while she was stuck in this hellhole had sent a wave of jealousy through her that she couldn’t control.

After sitting in comfortable silence for a while as Dot was dying her hair, Toni had confessed her anger at Martha. She knew it was petty, but that didn’t stop her feeling hurt that Martha was carrying on life without her…..

_“Toni, Did you hear what I said??”_

Fuck.. Toni was brought back from her daydream to another 10am Monday torture session. Mrs Winter was asking for the homework that Toni definitely hadn’t done and she seemed super pissed about it.

**Dude you’re so screwed**

_“I’m really sorry but Toni’s computer was playing up so we’ve only got it saved on my computer, I can send it to you now”_

What the fuck.

* * *

A few hours and an extremely depressing counselling session later, Toni and Dot were back in their usual spot behind the gym. It had only been a week since their chance encounter, but both girls felt like it had been longer.

 _“I can’t believe she covered for you”_ Toni couldn’t either. One minute they were arguing about Gods jetpacking abilities and the next Shelby was lying to their fucking math teacher.

“Check out this super cryptic text she sent me too”

Whilst Toni had been blatantly ignoring all the advice she was being given in counselling, Toni had checked her phone to find a new message from Shelby.

**If you’re going to be rude AND lazy,**

**the least you could do is thank me**

_“But if she thinks you’re rude and lazy why bother covering for you at all?_

Toni had no idea. As far as she was aware, Shelby hated her, and she felt the same. There was no love lost between them and as each class went by, Toni was finding more reasons to hate her.

She was only in her Math and Psychology classes, but Andrew was in her English Lit class and as soon as he knew who she was all hell broke loose. She’d gotten her first detention calling Andrew a cunt after he called her a Dyke last Wednesday. Turns out Texans were especially not fans of that word. At least online detention was just sitting with her camera off for an hour in between two classes. Maybe there was at least one positive to online school…

“Wait what did you say?”

Dot laughed and repeated her sentence.

 _“I said that at least you’re not the only one banished here against your will”_ Dot showed Toni her phone and laughed again

_“My friend Fatin managed to escape back to California for the summer, but her parents have just found out and she’s being forced back here to do senior year”_

If Toni wasn’t questioning Dot’s choice in friends before, she was now. Apparently Fatin had been kicked out of her parent’s house in Freshman Year and put in placement for ‘troubled teens’ after stealing a 48,000 dollar watch from her dad. Fucking one percenters.

Still, Toni saw the funny side and was glad that it wasn’t just her. At least somebody else was being held captive here against their will.

As she was replying to her best friend, Dot was thinking about her experiences the past few years. Over the weekend she had been consoling Toni as much as she could and could tell, even with the limited words used, that this bizarre angry girl missed her life back home. Highschool was a shitshow for everyone, but this girl seemed to have drawn the short end of the stick with this online horseshit…

**I need you to do something for me**

**No questions asked**

**Hello to you too Dorothy**

**Can you pull some strings and get the study room booked for this week?**

**Fine, but you owe me**

_“You know.. now that Fatin’s back we’re probably going to start our weekly study thing again”_

That was a bit of a stretch. For the past three years Dot and her friends had been perfecting the art of ‘studying’ every Tuesday and Thursday in one of the group rooms at school. Originally it had actually been studying, with Dot assigned to basically keep Fatin out of trouble. But, as the years went on and more people stumbled into their eclectic friendship group, it became more of a social thing. Until the beginning of summer last year when shit got tough at home with their dad. She’d stopped going then, and life had continued without her for a while.

Toni looked at her confused. Shit. She knew she was coming on too strong. Still she continued, hoping that Fatin could work her magic and charm the school into letting them on campus.

_“I know there’s shit going on but the school said it was okay... we’re gonna be in one of the rooms this Thursday if you’re interested?”_

“Sounds cool, I’m in”

Toni wished she could stay longer, but her foster parents weren’t too thrilled about how long she was out last time. Not that they’d done anything about it. A month into living there and the worst they’d ever done was take her phone. It was strange but Toni almost wished they’d blow up at her… or shout at her or anything… This creepy silence shit was making her jumpy.

So, Toni left with a smile, completely oblivious to the plans being made to help her.

* * *

As much as she’d played it cool in front of Dot, Toni was shocked. She wasn’t the kind of girl people invited places. Not without Martha. Martha was the one who made the friends, got invited to the parties… and who was now ignoring her messages.

**Marty please**

**I’m sorry I missed our movie night**

She’d regretted it as soon as she’d sent it, but the text Toni had sent Martha after the video incident wasn’t a nice one. Martha hadn’t responded to her for the whole weekend and Toni wished, as she often did, that she could control her fucking temper. The weekend had been lonely without Martha, and without her cheerful optimism, Toni was starting to realise how fucked she was.

**I miss you**

Whilst she was waiting for a reply Toni sat down at her desk to do some schoolwork. She was falling behind already in most things and it wasn’t lost on her that she would be graduating soon. Fuck. She actually needed to try this year...

Her phone buzzed. It wasn’t Martha.

**You just fucking moved to Texas and didn’t think to tell me?**

**What is wrong with you?**

Denial didn’t seem to be working in Toni’s favour this time. She meant to tell her, she really did but telling Regan she was moving meant admitting it was real… and telling her now meant that she would have to admit she was staying. Instead, she told herself she’d reply later and sat in silence, wishing she was anywhere else.

Regan was all Toni could think about for the next few days. Her easy friendship with Dot was the best thing that had come out of this whole situation, but it still reminded her of Regan and how easy it had been. She’d tried replying, had even typed out the paragraphs, but when the time came to hit send, she couldn’t do it. One of her old foster fathers had called her a coward, Toni was starting to think he was right.

At least Martha had finally responded. On Wednesday afternoon she popped back up on Toni’s phone and apologised for ghosting her. That was the only thing Toni didn’t like about their friendship. Even when Toni was the one who fucked up, Martha usually apologised for something too. It was a weird dynamic, but Toni wasn’t gonna question the one girl who had stuck by her through all the damage she caused.

**Regan told me she texted you**

**Are you okay? I’m sorry T**

Relief coursed through Toni as she texted her back and asked if she wanted to call after class ended. A lot had happened in the past 24 hours and Toni was dying to catch Marty up on the Shelby situation. She still hadn’t texted the Jesus freak back and was pretty sure she must have been having a weird Christian do-gooder moment, because after the outburst on Monday Shelby had gone back to her usual tirade of bullshit.

_“So how are you feeling about tomorrow?”_

Marty had her cornered. She hadn’t wanted to tell her about the study thing with Dot because she was 99% sure it would end terribly, but she’d accidentally let it slip and Martha wouldn’t drop it.

“It’s just studying Marty,

We’re not gonna go full breakfast club or anything”

Martha laughed ay Toni’s reference to her favourite movie and vowed to do something to thank this Dot girl. She’d spent the majority of her life defending Toni to strangers, wishing that they’d stick with her long enough to see the incredibly loyal, funny and gentle person Toni really was underneath her walls. It had been amazing to see Regan slip past them and Martha had been worried that Toni would never let that happen ever again.

_“I’m honestly surprised you agreed to go”_

Truthfully Toni was terrified. It sounded like a good idea at the time but the closer it got the more Toni was starting to doubt this whole thing. She liked what she had with Dot already and didn’t particularly want more people thrown into her life. One was enough. She wasn’t here to make friends and didn’t know why Marty was so eager for her to meet this group of strangers.

 _“You know I just want you to be happy T”_ Fat chance of that. If the Regan thing hadn’t happened then maybe she could let herself try and make the most of a bad situation, but she’d broken Regan’s heart, along with her fucking rear windshield and didn’t feel like she deserved happiness anymore.

* * *

“You gotta stop doing that dude, it’s fucking creepy” 

It was now Thursday afternoon and after the day she’d had, Toni was glad she’d decided to come to this stupid study thing. She threw her bag playfully at Dot, who was bombarding her with extremely accurate impressions of Shelby and Toni’s argument a few hours earlier.

_“But the lord contains multitudes Toni...”_

Nobody else had arrived yet so her and Dot were lounging on the beanbags in study room A, trying to figure out why Shelby was being so weird. Weirder than usual anyway… Ugh. Why couldn’t she stop thinking about her.

 _“If she wasn’t such a bible bashing homophobe, I would say she liked you”_ Please. The day someone like Shelby liked her would be the day hell literally froze over.

Sick of thinking about the blonde and her weird hot and cold attitude, Toni changed the subject and asked Dot why the fuck there were beanbags in a random public school in Texas. Even the concept of a study room had been new to Toni, who’s school back home could barely afford computers. According to Dot it was something to do with a new initiative they brought in over the summer. Something about comfort aiding learning. Whatever it was, Toni was grateful as it meant she didn’t have to sit on those uncomfortable plastic school chairs. The floor was more her vibe.

_“Adopted another stray have we Dorothy?”_

Toni jumped at the sound of another voiced and watched a figure throw herself onto Dot’s beanbag. This must be Fatin. The girl yelped at Dot punched her swiftly in the arm. 

_“Don’t call her a stray Fat she’s right there”_

_“Fatin, this is Toni... Toni, this is Fatin”_ Dot gestured to each of the girls dramatically, hoping that this plan didn’t backfire.

It didn’t exactly start well. Toni tried to play nice, but after Fatin’s stray comment she couldn’t help but make a snide remark about what the Californian was wearing. Her walls hadn’t come down completely it seemed.

If Fatin was offended she didn’t show it. Instead she eyed up the 5”3 girl in basketball shorts and shot Dot a knowing look before pulling her laptop out and hooking it up the screen on the wall in front of them.

“Wait I thought we were studying”

 _“If there’s one thing you need to know about Dot, Toni”_ Fatin sat down next to her and offered her some chips. Taki’s to be specific. _“It’s that she’s always got some scheme going on”_

Toni stared incredulously at Dot for a while, and then burst out laughing. The bastards had tricked her. But Toni couldn’t find it in her to be mad at them. It was almost like Dot knew this was what she needed. She settled into her beanbag and let the other girls choose the movie, preferring to sit back and observe the odd dynamic of the two girls with her. Their friendship was one of the weirdest she’d ever seen. They were an even weirder pair than Toni and Martha, and that was saying something.

It was just some dumb survival film, the ones Toni and Martha hated with a passion. But hearing Dot talk enthusiastically the whole way through made Toni actually enjoy it.

Every so often, Dot made sure to check up on the new girl and texted Fatin to make sure they were on the same page.

**So what do you think?**

**New recruit?**

**She’s definitely got an attitude. I like her**

Dot had known Fatin would. Ever since they met in Freshman year they’d just understood each other, and Dot knew Toni needed something like that.

By the time the movie ended Toni decided that Fatin was growing on her. There wasn’t that immediate sense of friendship she had with Dot, but there was definitely more to her than Toni first though, and as long as Dot liked her that’s all that really mattered.

They stayed in the room for a while after that, with Fatin filling Toni in on all the dumb shit they’d managed to get up to. Halfway through a story about Dot and Nora managing to steal one of the piglets from the science lab, Dot’s phone buzzed.

_“Damn, duty calls”_

Duty? That didn’t sound good.

_“Try not to traumatise Leah again, you know what happened last time”_

Fatin managed to dodge Dot’s fist as she explained.

_“Dot’s in charge of the new students here, showing them around, making sure they’re okay, that kind of shit.. she’s been keeping an eye on the other new girl Leah”_

What.

Sensing that she might have fucked up, Fatin backtracked

 _“Not you though, this wasn’t a school thing I promise, we genuinely wanted you to come”_ She looked at Dot for help. If Toni thought this was a pity thing, they knew she would make a run for it

_“Yeah I asked about it but the school said somebody was already looking out for you, this was all us”_

That wasn’t what Toni was bothered about.

Shakily grabbing her phone from her pocket, Toni showed them the texts she’d received from Shelby on the first day.

**Hey. It's Shelby from Math class**

**I hope you don't mind, the school gave me your number and asked me to check if you were okay.**

**I'm good. Just some internet trouble**

**Okay good. I've been assigned to keep an eye on all the newbies.**

"Looks like Shelby has some fucking explaining to do"


	4. Birchbark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time zones are really confusing me at the minute so please bear with me while I figure out the best time to post!  
> I'm hoping to update weekly but the days of the week will probably vary until I find a good routine :) 
> 
> TW: From this chapter onwards Becca and her suicide will be mentioned so please be aware and stop reading if you need to <3

Birchbark. That’s what Regan’s mom had compared her to.

At least that’s what Regan had said before she’d broken Toni’s heart almost a month ago now. Toni had seen it coming, even before the cinema incident, but that didn’t make the final blow any easier. And now she was stuck in Texas, alone, realising that Regan’s mom had been right all along.

_“Woah Toni are you okay?”_

Shit. Toni hadn’t realised she was still sat there, staring at her phone with Shelby’s words punching her in the stomach.

_“Maybe it wasn’t even her idea, maybe it really was just the school?”_

Dot didn’t really believe that, but she could tell that Toni was about five seconds from exploding. If she didn’t attempt damage control this was not going to end well.

“Yeah maybe”

Toni’s oddly calm tone was betrayed by the way she simultaneously jumped up and started shoving her school stuff into her bag. Dot and Fatin exchanged worried glances. The afternoon had gone way better than they anticipated and the sudden shift in the atmosphere was freaking them out.

_“Wait, where are you going?”_

Fatin made a move towards her but Dot held her back. She knew how that would end.

Toni had to get out of there. She could feel the rage bubbling up inside her and didn’t want either of the girls she was with to get caught in the crossfire. Normally she wouldn’t care who she blew up in front of, but she actually liked these girls and cared what they thought of her. She made it all the way to the parking lot next to the building they were in before it happened.

Shelby’s pity was a metaphorical match, and as she always did, Toni had caught fire.

* * *

Toni had no idea why Andrew was at school outside of school hours and couldn’t give less of a fuck. She wasn’t exactly sure what she’d intended to do after she stormed away from Dot and Fatin, but she’d spotted him leaning against his car almost as soon as she’d left the building.

Toni kicked a car that had screeched to a holt in front of her and ignored the driver hurling abuse. Any other day and he would have been a victim of her rage. Anyone would have. But today was different. Her anger was directed at a very specific person, and since she wasn’t here her asshole jock boyfriend would have to do.

Andrew’s friends saw Toni before he did, backing up slowly at the sight of a small figure almost running at them from across the parking lot with a murderous look in her eye. Wondering what had got his friends so spooked he turned around and was immediately shoved full force into his car by a familiar face.

_“What the fuck is wrong with you”_

Toni shoved him again, ignoring the laughs coming from the three guys surrounding them. Everyone was staring now, even Dot and Fatin, who’d come running out of the study room after hearing the commotion. Who knew that the school would be so popular in a fucking pandemic.

“The next time you see your girlfriend” Toni spat “Tell her I don’t want any of her fucking pity”

The venom in her voice even shocked Andrew, who’d only become aware of this dyke’s existence after she’d called him a cunt last Wednesday.

His surprise only lasted 10 seconds before he managed to compose himself. Whoever this bitch was she seemed obsessed with his girlfriend, and he wasn’t about to let himself get humiliated in front of his friends. Shelby was his, and this was his school. He stepped forward, expecting her to back away, but she surprised him by moving forward and staring him down.

Self-preservation wasn’t one of Toni’s strong points either.

_“listen… I know your kind gets obsessive, but don’t you think Shelbs is a little out of your league?”_

The crowd around them gasped and started muttering to each other. Homosexuality was a touchy subject in this state, never mind in this bible belt town, and Toni did not appreciate being outed. Not that she cared what they thought. Toni wasn’t in the business of hiding the parts of herself she couldn’t change; it just would have been nice if another part of her life could be in her control for once.

Fuck this guy.

For a second, she was brought back to the worst night of her life. He had the same smug expression as every other guy who’d tried to take advantage of her in some way. She hadn’t intended to hurt him. She’d just wanted to scare him a bit, give him a message to pass on to the good Samaritan Jesus freak he called a girlfriend. Her issue was with Shelby after all. But when the words “your kind” came out his mouth the red mist descended. These people were all the same.

Regan had once told her that this was what she loved most about her. At the time Toni had believed her, but that was before her inability to think about consequences started hurting them both in ways they’d never imagined.

Without giving him time to register what was happening, Toni’s fist connected with Andrew’s jaw.

That was Fatin and Dot’s cue to step in. They’d been watching with concern for a while, Dot eager to stop this sooner and Fatin waiting to see how it played out. Their usual dynamic worked well in these situations and this was no exception.

Once he’d recovered from the surprise of being punched in the face, Andrew laughed condescendingly.

_“You’re lucky I don’t hit girls”_

“Only because you know they’d kick your ass”

Surprisingly it was Fatin who took the lead on this one.

_“Okay kids, as much as I love a bit of casual sexism on a Thursday afternoon, I think we should wrap this up”_

Toni had expected Dot to be the one deescalating the situation, she seemed the type, but Fatin had a certain presence that demanded to be listened to. Toni silently thanked her for stepping in when she did and made a mental note to repay her somehow. Toni was starting to realise how massively she had fucked up, but at least it hadn’t gone any further. If it had she would have left Texas, but with the way her foster parents had started looking at her, it would be in a fucking body bag.

After the crowd dissipated, Andrew smiled creepily at Fatin who rolled her eyes, and then fixed his gaze on Toni. The sheer force of it shook Toni out of her anger and filled her with dread. That look told her that he could ruin her life if he chose to.

_“Dot, Fatin, Pleasure as always”_

_“Go jump in a hole Andrew”_

It seems they had a history with him as well, who would have figured.

Toni saw him and his friends drive off after that but didn’t seem to really process it. She was too busy thinking about the fact that while her world was falling apart he was just another person who could walk away.

She walked towards the verge of grass nearest them and sat down, wondering why she could never control her fucking temper, just for once. Her new social worker was going to have a heart attack. Her new foster parents were going to kill her and worst of all, she’d just given Shelby Goodkind the holy grain of ammunition against her.

She groaned into her backpack as Dot and Fatin wandered over to her, grinning like they’d just won the lottery. Yeah Toni had fucked up, but at least Andrew got what had been coming to him.

They sat down either side of her.

_“so… do you wanna talk about it”_

Fatin sounded so happy Toni could almost see the funny side. Almost.

“No“

Dot and Fatin glanced at each other, having one of their silent conversations that only they could understand.

_“ Do you wanna come back to mine and watch Fatin kick my ass at Mario Kart?”_

That sounded more appealing.

  
“ Sure”

* * *

Dot wasn’t big on fishing through people’s business, so when Toni said she didn’t want to talk about it, she dropped it. Instead she decided that a night of doing nothing at all would be the best thing for her.

Which is how they ended up back at Dot’s place. Since Dot technically lived alone now, Toni’s foster fam had reluctantly let her stay for dinner. They clearly didn’t know about Toni’s violent outburst yet and Dot did not envy her for when they found out. She didn’t know them personally but had heard stories about them not being the best people and Dot wanted to keep Toni away from them for as long as she could.

_“Fat I swear to god if you keep red shelling me I’m gonna kill you”_

At least Toni had finally warmed up to Fatin. Dot had known they would love each other eventually but didn’t expect the fight earlier to have brought them closer together. She watched them sit easily next to each other on her sofa, bickering and playing the stupid Nintendo Switch someone had given her as a pity present last year. As if objects could make her feel better about losing her dad.

Desperate to push that thought away from her brain, Dot pulled out her phone and searched for Shelby’s phone number. She wasn’t sure if she would reply after all the drama they’d gone through in the past few years, but she needed to try. She didn’t know what the fuck was going on with Shelby, but her homophobic ass reaching out to Toni on the first day was the most suspicious thing she’d ever done.

**Didn’t realise you were in charge of the newbies**

**Excuse me? Who is this**

Typical. Shelby could pretend not to know Dot all she wanted, but Dot knew that in about 10 seconds Andrew would be telling her his version of what happened and she wanted to get some form of the truth before it all kicked off.

**Dot. Why did you tell Toni you were gonna be looking out for her?**

**You know that’s my job.**

She hadn’t wanted to be put in charge of them. It was the school’s stupid idea to help her make friends after her dad died. Another shitty example of how out of touch education could be in this town. Still, she took her role seriously and didn’t appreciate Shelby coming out of the blue and taking over. Especially when Shelby hadn’t shown any interest in anything or anyone since the beginning of last summer. Dot knew something had happened, but honestly she was too busy with her dad and CPS to worry about whatever the fuck Shelby Goodkind had going on in her life.

After waiting over an hour for a reply, Dot gave up and decided to help Toni and Fatin who were in the kitchen trying to make dinner and failing miserably. If Shelby wanted to be a mysterious bitch about this then fine, she could deal with the wrath of Toni in class tomorrow.

It was only a few minutes later when Toni got the call demanding her to come home. For as long as she would live, Dot would never forget the look of fear that crossed Toni’s face. It was the look of a caged animal, who knew that no matter what they did, they would just have to sit there and accept what was going to happen.

* * *

The creepy silence of the past month broke that night, and by the end of it Toni was pretty sure she understood why they had been so quiet. They must have been saving their energy for this. Matt and Carol’s loud voices penetrated the ears of the neighbours three doors down and all Toni could do was sit there and take it. She’d tried defending herself a few years ago, but all that gave her was a black eye and an understanding of how morally fucked some people could be.

In a way Toni almost wished these guys would hit her. It wasn’t like that in every foster home, but those were the ones she understood the most. She could get to know their patterns, their routines and what usually set them off. The fights were bad but usually ended quickly and Toni could take care of her wounds and go back to pretending everything was fine.

It was different here. The points they were making, although loudly and obnoxiously, were valid ones. For a few brief seconds it actually sounded like they cared about her. But then they dropped the homeless line. They were right. If she carried on like this, she probably would end up homeless, but who were they to tell her that. They didn’t know shit about her, and the idea of them caring about her was laughable. It doesn’t count as caring if you’re getting paid for it. Maybe they pitied her, but that was the extent. So, Toni sat silently, not letting herself talk back to them. All she had to do was make it through the next few months and she would be old enough to escape the system and get back home to Martha and her family.

By the time they had finished their lecture it was about 9pm, and Toni needed to take her anger out on someone. She’d tried calling Martha to vent to her but she must have declined the call as it hung up after three rings. The pain inside her chest got bigger as Toni imagined all of the scenarios Marty could be in right now. She could be sat around the Blackburn family table eating dinner and laughing with her sisters or she could be in her room on the phone to someone else playing those stupid online games they always used to…

If Shelby had called at any other time, Toni wouldn’t have picked up. She had already made the decision to bail on the math partner thing and just get Dot’s help, so she didn’t need Shelby. But after being abandoned by Marty again the flash of anger returned and finally found its way to the original target.

* * *

  
Shelby wasn’t sure what she was expecting when she called Toni that night. Andrew had called her a few hours before raging about some lunatic girl who had punched him in the face for no reason and she didn’t believe him.. Sure, Toni had definite anger issues and they didn’t like each other, but even Shelby didn’t think Toni would do that for no reason. People just didn’t do that. Andrew must have done something. He was always getting into situations like this and as much as Shelby tried to stop it, she couldn’t break up with him. She needed him.

_“What the fuck do you want Shelby”_

Not letting Toni’s resentful tone put her off, she asked the question.

“I want to know why you punched my boyfriend in the face today”

She was glad she hadn’t video called. She’d considered it, but something stopped her. She spent almost all of their shared classes staring at Toni, though she didn’t understand why, and didn’t think she wanted to see her face when she asked such a ridiculous question. Toni wouldn’t have done this to him with no reason, there’s no way.

_“And I want to know why you decided to tell me you were in charge of the new kids. I spoke to Dot. I know that’s not true. Why the fuck would you do that?”_

If Shelby had been in a different frame of mind, she might have seen that Toni’s anger at her was justified. She was a stranger to her after all. But after the text from Dot, Shelby had already been questioning her motives and Toni’s accusing tone sent her straight into self-defence mode.

“Well excuse me for trying to do something nice..”

_“There’s a difference between doing something nice and pity Shelby. I don’t know why you felt the need to save me or whatever but I don’t need your fucking pity”_

The way Toni said her name always sent a shiver down her spine. Probably because of how much she hated her, she reasoned. From their first lesson they seemed destined to dislike each other. Toni definitely hated her, but she couldn’t hate anyone. It wasn’t in her religion to hate. Instead she had tried to befriend her….

It was now clear that was never going to happen. Toni’s avoidance of the question was just proof in her mind that Andrew was right, she never should have questioned him.

Her silence must have infuriated Toni more, because she then asked something Shelby didn’t know the answer to. There was a lot of that in her life lately.

_“Is that really why you did it? Some weird religious crusade to ‘save ’the new girl?”_

“Toni.. I…”

“I knew it”

The hurt in Toni’s voice was unmistakable, but before Shelby could even defend herself, the hurt turned into anger.

_“Fuck you, I don’t need saving”_

_“_ Toni I wasn’t trying to..”

_“ You can keep your Jesus loves you bullshit away from me Shelby, I know people like you use it as an excuse or whatever but…_

“People like me? What’s that supposed to mean?

_“People who cling to Religion and tell themselves it makes them a good person”_

“Toni that’s not why I did it..”

In a way she was glad Toni didn’t let her finish that sentence. It would have made her start admitting things to herself she didn’t want to. Instead, she stayed silent as Toni saw right through her.

_“You know who clings to Religion? People who like to tell themselves a nice story about who they are.. because deep down they’re hiding some pretty fucked up shit"_

If only Toni knew how true that was.


	5. Me and the Devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alexa play Me and the Devil by Soap&Skin

Shelby’s absence from class the next day was all anyone could talk about, and as much as she didn’t want to admit it, Toni was worried. Everything she had said last night was true, but her teachers concern didn’t exactly make her feel great about what she’d said. Even Dot spent the day in a world of her own, which really freaked Toni out as she’d never seen the usually stoic girl act like this, especially with someone she hated.

“So are you gonna tell me what the fuck was up with everyone today?”

Dot jumped and focused her gaze back at Toni, who was facetiming her after class as usual. It was the only way either of them could get through the monotonous days of online school, and Toni usually looked forward to their nightly chats.

This time she didn’t. Toni had a sneaking suspicion she was the reason Shelby hadn’t come to school, and with the way everyone was acting, that must have been a rare occurrence.

_“I don’t know what…”_

“Stop shitting me Dorothy, I know something’s been going on _”_

The use of her full name made Dot smile a little. Toni had picked it up From Fatin yesterday and was genuinely surprised Dot let her. Only a few people were allowed to call her that, but Toni had apparently made the cut.

After a little more coaxing, Dot told Toni what was bugging everyone out today. Turns out Shelby had the best attendance in the whole school and had only missed one day of class in three years. Until today anyway.

“I don’t see why that’s such a big deal, everyone misses class eventually?”

Misses or skips, Toni thought. She’d done a fair share of the latter and it never really affected her grades. Probably because her grades weren’t that great to begin with.

Dot sighed.

 _“Not this girl T…”_ The nickname reminded her briefly of Martha and a shockwave of pain went through Toni’s heart. She missed her. They talked regularly but it wasn’t the same, and all Toni really wanted was a hug from her best friend.

Desperate not to go down that road, Toni tuned back into Dot.

_…. friend died”_

Oh Fuck.

“Wait what? Back up there Dot I missed that”

_“I said the only time Shelbs’ missed school was last year… when her friend died”_

If Dot hadn’t dropped that bombshell on her, Toni would have questioned the nickname. It was just so.. personal? It would have explained why Dot seemed more concerned than the rest of the people in her class. But Toni was too busy thinking about the fact that she was the reason Shelby had disappeared. She had to be. It was very unlikely anything else had happened between last night’s argument and 8am this morning.

Fuck.

If the last time Shelby had missed class was for her friend’s death, Toni didn’t want to think about how much she’d fucked up this time.

“Did… did you know the girl?

Dots pause spoke volumes.

_“We knew each other in Middle school but she got transferred to North Christian after 7 th grade and I never saw her after that. Shelby was the only one that kept in contact with her”_

That wasn’t exactly true. Dot had seen Becca a few days before it had happened, just briefly, but it was enough to worry her. The most worrying of all factors was that Becca was alone.

Dot hadn’t really spoken to either of them directly since she’d been told to stay away from them in 7th grade for no apparent reason, but Becca had been frozen in the same spot in the grocery store (that wasn’t even fucking near her house) for about ten minutes and Dot was getting concerned. She had her own shit to deal with, her dad had been getting worse by the day, but something in Becca’s expression made Dot try to approach her.

She didn’t tell Toni this of course. She didn’t need to know the details.

Nevertheless, Toni was slowly starting to piece together Dots bizarre history with Shelby. And now this new information added a new piece to the puzzle.

“What was her name?”

_“Becca. Becca Gilroy”_

* * *

That weekend all Shelby could think about was Toni. How had the new girl seen right through her so quickly. She shouldn’t have been so careless.

It had been one mistake. One stupid impulse decision and now she had to deal with the consequences, Just like last time.

_“Shelby honey, are you coming down for dinner?”_

Shelby winced at her mom’s voice and rolled onto her side to face the wall. It didn’t help. The walls of her room might have been painted over, but she knew what was supposed to be there.

_“I see you”_

She pulled the covers over her and pushed her face into the pillow. Maybe that would stop her seeing Becca’s face everywhere she looked.

Toni probably wouldn’t remember it, but something Toni had said to her a few weeks ago wouldn’t stop surfacing in her mind. It had been in one of their earlier arguments. Shelby didn’t really remember what caused it, but the almost over the top reaction from the volatile new girl would be burned into her brain forever.

_“You may have a lot of people around here thinking you’re all rainbows and unicorns and shit, but I see you”_

The guilt was almost unbearable. So many lies. So many reasons she didn’t deserve to call herself a Christian. Her god was supposed to be forgiving, but even he couldn’t forgive this.

**Listen. I’m sorry about what I said yesterday.**

God must be punishing her.

She was about to ignore the text when another came through.

**I still think it’s true but it was out of line and I shouldn’t have said it.**

Toni really wasn’t helping the situation. Of course she wasn’t. Shelby hadn’t expected anything less.

If it was anyone else, Shelby would have accepted the apology and moved on. She wasn’t the grudge holding type after all, and something told Shelby Toni wasn’t normally someone that apologised. But after everything that had happened, she needed to hate Toni. It was safer than the alternative.

**I’ve asked Mrs Winters to swap our math partners.**

Not for the first time, Shelby cursed her complete lack of self-control. It was only for a moment, but once she’d asked for Toni’s number she had to go through with it. She’d made a commitment to the school. She’d managed to salvage the situation a little bit by saying the school asked her to, but she hadn’t factored in Dottie’s strange friendship with Toni.

Now she’d been exposed and had to lie again to get out of it. Just another sin to add to her growing collection.

It was one of the toughest things she’d had to do, but by the next day she had made her decision. She wanted to like Toni. She’d tried her hardest and done everything God would have wanted her to do, but when Toni started attacking her Religion Shelby made up her mind. The lord wouldn’t want her to hate anybody, but he would make have to make an exception for Toni Shalifoe.

* * *

**What the fuck is wrong with you?**

That was the question that Toni was still trying to answer. She had almost forgotten about the text she got God knows how long ago now, but something about Shelby and her righteous attitude made her think of Regan. She would be having a field day with Shelby right now. She was everything they hated and Toni could imagine exactly what Regan would say if she was here. But she wasn’t.

Toni read over the text from Shelby, trying to decipher any hidden meaning.

**I’ve asked Mrs Winters to swap our math partners.**

Fucking typical. The one time Toni had felt even remotely sorry for Shelby she threw it back in her face. She wasn’t even sure why she had sent it, but she’d just got off the phone with Marty at the time and was feeling.. well. She was feeling something.

After Dot had filled her in on what happened Toni’s thoughts had been consumed by the idea of losing Martha in the same way. The idea was so terrible Toni immediately had to call her to check that she was doing okay. It was dramatic, she knew, but a world without Marty wasn’t one she wanted to live in.

She sighed and prepared herself for another fucking boring weekend. The school days were actually okay, and some classes were even fun, but the weekends were long and unfulfilling, with her foster fam hovering by her door every ten minutes to check she wasn’t getting up to mischief. She had been worried they would like, take her phone or ground her for the Andrew incident, but then again where was there to go. School?

Instead they just seemed disappointed, which was way worse.

_“We’re just worried about you Toni”_

Please. They’d only known her a few weeks and had spend a vast majority of that time observing her like some safari animal. They didn’t really have the right to worry about her. The only people who’d earned that were Martha and Regan..

She should probably reply to her. They may have broken up, but Toni’s heart belonged to her and after what Martha had been saying, she was pretty sure Regan still loved her at least a little bit.

**Hey. I’m sorry I ghosted you, are you free to talk?**

* * *

The day Toni had met Regan was one of the best days of Toni’s life. Not that there had been many, but that one held the highest position in Toni’s heart. It had started out a little iffy, with her then foster mom accusing her of breaking their sons dumb gaming console. She knew for a fact he had broken it himself, but why would he own up to it when there was a resident scapegoat in the house?

The only thing stopping her from skipping was her basketball practice that afternoon. Yeah she led the team in points, but she also led the team in technical fouls. She was skating on very thin ice already and if she got caught playing truant again she’d get cut from the team. Fuck knows that was the last thing she needed. Basketball was the one outlet she had left and as soon as she put her kit on everything wrong in her life melted away, at least for an hour. When she played she wasn’t Toni Shalifoe, the troubled foster kid with an attitude anymore. She was Toni Shalifoe, the hearthrob of the Hopewell Lake Firebirds, completely untouchable by anyone on the court. 

_“ Toni I can’t look, its too sad.. you’re gonna have to do it”_

Third period biology had never been Toni’s favourite class, but Marty’s commentary always made her smile.

“ Come on, it doesn’t even look like a pig, just tell yourself it’s like, an alien baby or some kind of demon fetus”

_“I don’t wanna dissect any of those either”_

Toni wasn’t surprised. Martha’s love of animals was one of the things she loved most about her and her extensive list of pets had helped Toni through some pretty tough times. Particularly Cappy, her giant rabbit. His name had been short for Capricorn but Toni never realised that until she began stargazing with Regan.

If Toni had been a sentimental person she would have called it fate, but deep down Toni knew she had Martha to thank for everything. Her eyes had fixated on the science room door as soon as it opened, and there she was. The girl Toni had thought about ever since she’d seen her at last week’s basketball game. Two seconds of brief eye contact and she had been hooked…

No. She had to stop thinking about her. After all the courage it had taken for Toni to text her back on Saturday, Regan had gone ghost mode again. Sunday morning came and still Regan hadn’t responded. Toni knew that she was probably at one of her weekend classes, or off taking pictures with they camera they loved to share, but Toni decided to take her silence as a sign. She’d been in Texas for almost a month now and the universe was telling her to move on.

So she tried.

* * *

_“I can’t believe its been so long already T, you need to start writing what you get up to so I can read it when you get back”_

“Or I could just tell you, you goofball”

Almost two months into her online banishment and Toni had decided it wasn’t going to be as bad as she thought. Hell, there were some parts she even liked. But Shelby Goodkind sure as shit wasn’t one of them.

Toni honestly hadn’t known why she’d messaged Shelby after the whole Incident with Andrew. She wasn’t really known for apologising, especially when she was right. Maybe it was just a brief sense of sentimentality, but she’d felt sorry for her. What a fucking joke. She should have known better.

The Monday after the phone call, Shelby had come back with a new vengeance that surprised Toni. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but she didn’t think Shelby had it in her to be so vicious and was genuinely impressed.

Until Mrs Winters revealed that they still had to be partners for the rest of the semester.

_“Are you freaking kidding me?”_

Everyone expected an outburst from Toni, so the fact that it came from Shelby made the situation ten times worse. Toni didn’t want to think about how much she enjoyed seeing blondie lose her shit for once, so she retaliated more than she probably should have.

At least now when all hell broke loose Toni had her friends to back her up. She’d had her fair share of rivalries at Hopewell Lake, but they’d always been solo endeavours. Martha would do anything for Toni, but she hated violence so much that Toni tried to keep her out of it. This time was different, and Toni was genuinely shocked at the lengths her new friends went to defend her.

The rest of that day had been a blur, with Toni, Dot and Fatin meeting again in the study room after school to discuss what the fuck had just happened.. Honestly Toni wasn’t sure how Fatin was managing to get the school to agree to this, but she wasn’t gonna question it. Toni had shown them Shelby’s reply to her apology, and they’d all come to the same conclusion.

Shelby was just being a dick.

Not long after that Dot had decided it was time to bring the twins into the mix. She’d been hesitant to introduce them so soon, but after Rachel’s incessant nagging Dot had given in.

“Toni, this is Rachel, Rach, please for the love of God be nice”

“ _Hey, any enemy of Shelby’s is a friend of mine”_

Toni was apprehensive of Rachel at first, but once she’d cheerfully uttered that phrase it didn’t take them long to become friends. Initially they only bonded over their mutual dislike of Shelby, but they soon realised they had more in common than they thought. Their love of sport, their rogue sense of humour... half of the time Fatin and Dot were left on the sidelines as Rachel and Toni threw inside jokes at each other. They didn’t mind. It was just nice to see the usually serious Toni happy for once.

Toni’s friendship with Nora took a bit longer to cultivate. It had taken another week for her to actually draw a conversation out of her, but she had never felt awkward around her. Nora was more of a wallflower, and Toni was perfectly happy exchanging brief hello’s and kind smiles. She had a calming aura that reminded Toni of Martha, and whenever Toni started feeling out of control, Nora always noticed.

All this was reported weekly to Marty, who eagerly awaited her stories every Saturday. Toni was a little on the fence about this fucking weird group of girls she’d been coerced into hanging out with, but they weren’t half bad. At the very least they were an excuse not to see as much of her foster fam since her free time was now taken up by her eclectic group of friends. At first, she thought that would cause another argument, but they genuinely seemed fine with that arrangement. They were probably just glad they didn’t have to spend time with her.

Before she knew it, October had turned into November and in that time the girls had somehow fallen into an easy routine.

Well…easy for some anyway. Toni was still overwhelmed by the amount of people who wanted to be her friend and didn’t really know how to feel. She’d only just got used to having two friends when another three had been thrown at her. Still, she went along with it. Tuesdays were counselling days, Thursdays were study room days, and weekends were for whatever online games Fatin and Rachel had found that week.

In an attempt to change the subject from Marty’s stupid journaling suggestion, Toni asked if she’d managed to do anything for Halloween yesterday. Christmas and her birthday weren’t exactly the greatest holidays for Toni, so Martha always went the extra mile for Halloween. Not this time though. Martha couldn’t face the idea of Halloween without her.

_“What about you?”_

“Nah not really, we watched a scary movie the Thursday before though. Rach thought it would be a good idea to prank Nora with a fake hand and they haven’t spoken since”

_“Sounds like I’m gonna have to move there to keep up”_

The wistful tone in Martha’s voice was what kept Toni from committing fully. How could she sit there and make new friends when the other half of her heart was all the way in fucking Minnesota?

“I know Marty, Facetime isn’t the same is it”

* * *

Halloween was strictly prohibited in the Goodkind household, so nobody was surprised when Shelby said she didn’t do anything for Halloween the following Monday. The quarantine order was still in full effect, so according to her it was “morally irresponsible” to even ask what anyone did.

Shelby watched as her self-appointed nemesis rolled her eyes and tried to ignore the images of Becca that flashed through her mind every time she looked at her. Her mannerisms, her facial expressions.. they were all too similar to the one face she would never see again, and Shelby couldn’t stand it

_“You know Gods just a brainwashing tool used to enslave the masses. He’s not gonna smite anyone down for celebrating a holiday”_

“Maybe not, but asking a group of kids what they did for Halloween in a pandemic isn’t exactly a responsible move”

Lord. She needed to stop rising to Toni’s taunts. It was one thing to argue with just her, but now Toni had her questioning Mrs Winters’ morals in front of the entire classroom.

_“That’s it, I’ve had enough of this. Detention after class for both of you.”_

This was getting out of control now. In trying to hide from Toni’s accusing gaze, Shelby had run too hard the other way and was now getting in trouble with several members of staff. Still, she would rather have her dad find out that she was getting detentions than have him find out the truth. She wasn’t sure she could survive that again.

She still remembered the day he found out about her and Becca, his silence managing to be the loudest thing she’d heard in her entire life.

“Daddy, please look at me, I’m right here”

It had just been a kiss, one impulsive reckless decision, but one she liked. That was part of the problem. If it had been just a one time thing, or even a drunk thing, Shelby could have done a better job at convincing her dad it wouldn’t happen again. But this wasn’t the first time. The first time had been in 7th grade, before her dad had come back from his mission trip and made her life hell.

_“ I just don’t want you to be alone Shelby.. Is that what you want? To be all alone?”_

They were just kids, not really knowing what they were doing or why it was wrong, but the teachers of her super Christian middle school had not been impressed in the slightest. At the sound of an adult’s voice they both had tried to run. Becca had managed to escape but Shelby had been too slow. The cover up lie saved her friendship with Becca, but cost Shelby her friendship with Dottie. Once she told her Dad Dot kissed her, she was never allowed to see her again.

That was the first lie of many, and soon she couldn’t keep track of them all. Shelby wanted more than anything to explain to Dot what happened, but once her dad told her why it was unforgivable, she couldn’t. She couldn’t have anyone else knowing what was wrong with her, her disease was between her and God. So she let Dot go.

The second kiss was harder to hide. She hadn’t known it was going to happen, if she had she would have stopped it. She’d always made sure never to get too close to Becca, always staying that little distance away and making sure not to cross the imaginary line she’d set for herself. But before her last pageant Becca unknowingly had crossed it, and Shelby couldn’t help herself.

She always told Becca she loved her, and Becca would always say it back. They had known each other since they were four years old and they loved each other like only best friends could. But after that kiss Shelby discovered what she had always feared. She didn’t just love Becca, she was in love with her.

* * *

_“I know you’re going through something.. I see you”_

That phrase haunted her, and every second that wasn’t filled with distractions brought Becca’s last words. It was happening again now, with her and Toni sat in a breakout room in detention, looking everywhere but at the camera.

_“I would never judge you”_

When Becca had turned up at her house to talk, Shelby’s world had collapsed. The walls were closing in on her and she couldn’t breathe. She’d never regretted anything more than what she said to Becca that day, but at the time all she could think about was being alone.

No family. No friends. No support system. Her life would fall apart at the seams if anyone caught a glimpse of the emotional turmoil she had brewing inside, so in an act of self-preservation, she lashed out. She had to. She could never see Becca again, and wanted to make sure Becca stayed far enough away so Shelby or her dad couldn’t hurt her.

_“Stay the fuck away from me”_

In the end it didn’t matter. After all her efforts, she still ended up alone.

Her words had killed her best friend. They found her in her car later that day, holding the matching necklaces they exchanged when they were ten.

She wasn’t even allowed to go to the funeral.

“I’m not your friend. I feel sorry for you. I pity you” No. She could never be forgiven for that.

Her hand flew to the chain around her neck where she wore Becca’s cross. She’d put hers away the day she found out and had been wearing Becca’s ever since.

A familiar voice pulled her out of her spiral.

_“ Hey.. I know we’re not talking and shit but.. are you okay?_

She’d almost forgotten Toni was there. They hadn’t said a word to each other the whole time and Shelby was honestly glad. There was so much about Toni that reminded her of Becca, but just enough of a difference to remind her that Toni was here, and Becca wasn’t.

“ No.. not really”

_“ Do you wanna..talk about it or something?_

The awkward tone of Toni’s voice would have been endearing. If Shelby didn’t hate her.

“No”

_“ Fine, be like that then”_

She could always count on Toni to take things the wrong way. It was one of her talents.

Oh lord, she had to stop thinking about her. But that was turning out to be a lot harder than she thought. Shelby felt like she had been sleepwalking for the past year, putting on the act of a model student and perfect girlfriend. Her life had fallen apart and the world was just carrying on as if nothing ever happened.

That had all changed the second she was introduced to Toni. She wasn’t sure what it was, but something about the irritating, hot headed new girl woke her up. It had started with such good intentions. She’d seen the familiar trapped look in Toni’s eyes and thought, for a split second, that she’d found someone who would understand her.

She laughed. Look where that had got her. Stuck in detention with the one person in the world that she hated.

Hate was a strong word, and not one that she used lightly, but she didn't know how else to label this all consuming feeling. Shelby never thought that she could have it in her heart to hate someone, but then again, she never thought she would be the reason her best friend was dead. There was no coming back from that. Even if she felt that she deserved forgiveness, there was nobody left to ask and she didn't know how. The only thing she knew for certain was that she felt something, which was a hell of a lot better than feeling nothing at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thanks for sticking with this so far, I have so much I want to include and I’m so excited to share it <3


	6. Fate is a Funny Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a very Dot/ group focused chapter, but I promise more Shoni is on the way! Hope you enjoy :)

Out of all the things that surprised her about Texas, Toni hadn’t expected the sky to be her favourite _._ She’d spent almost the entirety of spent almost all her life gazing up into space, and the differences between here and the night sky at home were weird, but strangely beautiful.

The biggest difference was the vastness of it all. Back home on the reservation her and Martha were almost always surrounded by forests, the looming outlines of trees often blocking her view. But not here. Fort Travis was a sprawling suburb just outside Dallas, giving her a clear view of the one thing that connected her with Marty.

The moon had always been their thing. It had started when Toni, aged ten, had been found crying in the Blackburn’s backyard after Marty had been chosen to go to a sleep away camp and Toni hadn’t. It was the first time they had been separated in three years and Toni hadn’t taken it well.

 _“ You’re quite the escape artist aren’t you”_ That was an understatement. There wasn’t a lock in the world that could hold Toni, several foster parents had tried and failed.

Toni had thought she’d be in trouble for running away to the Blackburns, but all Mama B. did was sit next to her and tell her that no matter how far away Marty was right now, she was looking at the same moon.

Almost as if she’d been listening to her thoughts, a text from Martha buzzed through on her phone.

 **You awake?** **😊**

She didn’t reply. Martha should be sleeping. Toni had given up her battle with insomnia but that didn’t mean Martha had to. At least one of them needed to do well in school.

Instead she focused her gaze back on the moon. It was a Little Spirit moon tonight, the second one of the year, and after the events of the day Toni couldn’t help but remember all the times she’d sat with Marty and listened to Bernice’s teachings.

_“You know, the Ojibwe people have different names for grandmother moon”_

There were thirteen to be exact, following a lunar cycle that Toni couldn’t quite wrap her head around. All she really remembered was that the November moon had been her favourite.

_“The twelfth moon of Creation is the Little Spirit Moon, a time of healing. By receiving both vision of the spirits and good health, we may walk the Red Road with purest intentions, and we can share this most positive energy with our families and friends for the good of all”_

Marty’s traditions meant the world to her, so they meant the world to Toni. She’d lost count of all the dance practices, heritage workshops and various other gatherings that she’d attended with the Blackburn’s over the years, but always loved watching them learn more about what bound their people together. Sure, it made her a little jealous when she was a kid, but over the years she’d learned that she didn’t exactly do well with her own family, so it was probably better she didn’t know who her people were.

That depressing train of thought was rudely interrupted by her phone again. God she needed to start putting it on silent.

“Marty B what’s good?” She didn’t even check the screen before answering, only Martha would be calling her at fucking two am.

_“ Dude? where are you? Is that the roof?”_

The use of the word dude soon made Toni realise it wasn’t Marty. Instead Dot’s face appeared on her cracked screen.

After she’d got over her initial shock she realised why she’d sounded so concerned. From Dot’s perspective her current position was definitely a bit.. well… precarious. She’d set up camp a few days ago on the garage roof adjacent to her window and was currently sat there admiring the view.

“I mean if you wanna get technical, it’s the garage roof”

 _“Yeah yeah whatever, I only called to get info on your little detention adventure with Shelby”_ Her tone was playful, but her eyes didn’t quite agree.

“At two am?”

_“Time is a social construct, keep up”_

For someone who claimed to not like fishing through people business, Dot was awfully interested in how Shelby was doing and it made Toni nervous.

“ How do you even know about that? You weren’t online at all today?

 _“ I have my ways”_ Fatin. For some fucking unknown reason that girl knew everything that happened in this town. She wasn’t even in any of her classes on a Monday yet somehow had still text Toni to ask her if she thought Shelby was hot when she was mad.

“Well if you don’t bother showing up to be my backup you don’t get the details of the drama”

Toni hoped Dot knew she was kidding. Well mostly. Once she’d got ever the feeling of complete and utter betrayal she’d surprised herself by feeling worried about Dot’s disappearance. It wasn’t a feeling she had for a lot of people, the default was usually indifference and then maybe it would escalate to mid concern, but in this case Dot’s weird behaviour the past few days had put her into a full blown worried state. Fuck. Maybe she liked these girls more than she thought.

When Dot didn’t respond, Toni asked her how she was doing. She’d clearly put a new colour in her hair, purple this time, and Toni had quickly connected the dots. A hair colour change meant she wasn’t doing too well.

_“Same old stuff, dead dad, CPS on my back, the usual teenage problems”_

The usual teenage problems… God. How shitty could the world be.

Toni thought back to Shelby and couldn’t help but think that the Blackburn’s view of the world made way more sense. Why bother worshipping some masochistic sky man that may or may not exist when you could focus more on what you had around you. If you were lucky enough to have someone, that is.

They talked for a little while longer; dancing around what was really bothering them but enjoying each other’s company all the same. Eventually though they had to call it a night. They both had counselling again tomorrow and the Fort Travis Highschool mental health service wasn’t known for its high success rate. In fact Toni was pretty sure it made her and Dot worse. Fucking Shelby and her good Samaritan bullshit.

Just as she was about to climb inside, her phone buzzed again.

**Did Dorothy just call you?**

How the fuck, she muttered to herself.

 **I'm convinced you're omniscient at this point Fatin**

**That’s a big word for such a small person**

**Did she call you or not?**

The past month had changed Toni’s perspective on Fatin. She hadn’t expected to like her at all and initially was just cool with her because Dot was, but her sharp wit and unwavering loyalty had won her over in the end. A classic example of don’t judge a book by its cover.

**Yeah she did**

**I’m worried about her**

**Yeah me too**

**She asked me to come over tomorrow**

**I think she’s lonely**

It definitely seemed that way. Dot didn’t strike Toni as the team player type, no matter how friendly she had been to Toni in the beginning, and to see her so desperate to be around people was a warning sign Toni didn’t want to ignore. At first it had just seemed like a casual weekly hangout, but for the past two weeks Dot seemed intent on filling as much of their time as possible with dumb quizzes or group facetimes, and even suggesting they all come over to her house again.

Sure, they’d gone there the day of the Andrew incident, but none of the girls were proud of it. They didn’t want to break any of the rules and had classed that day as a one-time emergency, so the sudden change of heart from the health-conscious Dot was a little unnerving.

Dot had done so much for her, whether she knew it or not, and Toni couldn’t imagine how lonely it must be for Dot alone in her house now without her dad. Even though Toni didn’t particularly get along with her foster family and Rachel and Nora fought all the time, they had people at home. All Dot had was some old pictures and a hole in the living room where her dad’s bed used to be. Dot needed someone to look after her for once, and maybe it was the Little Spirit moon, or the fact that Fatin had messaged at exactly the right time, but either way Toni knew what they needed to do.

**Don’t worry**

**I’m immediately worried**

**Shut up**

**I have a plan**

* * *

_“Nope, no way, she won’t go for it”_

Toni had facetimed Fatin the next afternoon to elaborate on her ominous texts, but Fatin wasn’t having any of it.

“ Come on, you’re basically an old married couple anyway, this is just like… an extra step”

_“It’s not happening Titch”_

Ignoring the insult, she carried on.

“So you’re saying you don’t want to live with Dot?” There was no way that was true. She’d seen how they acted together and was surprised they hadn’t tried this sooner.

_“No, I’m saying that she’d never go for it. Dot doesn’t do pity”_

Fuck. She hadn’t factored that in.

_“Plus no sane person would let two seventeen- year- old delinquents live together without supervision”_

“Give it a rest, Dot’s hardly a delinquent ”

They continued bickering for a while, but Toni was starting to see Fatin’s point. The second issue was slightly easier to manage, they just had to use Fatin’s charm to pull some strings, but the main problem would be Dot herself. If Toni was in this position, she’d never let someone do this for her, so why would Dot.

Unless…

“ What if we make Dot think she’s helping you”

Toni could see the cogs turning in Fatin’s brain.

_“I’m listening”_

The plan was simple. Toni would try and find some loophole in the CPS system that would allow Dot to have a roommate, whilst Fatin, Rachel and Nora would be in charge of dropping subtle hints to Dot about Fatin’s ‘living situation’

Since Fatin wasn’t technically under CPS and was instead under some kind of private agreement between the home and her parents, she was able to bribe them into letting her go. They didn’t really give a shit about her anyway. As long as Fatin was out of her parent’s way they got paid, so that would sort itself out in one phone call.

The real issue was Dot and her social worker. According to Fatin, Gretchen wasn’t exactly the most reasonable woman in the world and had a vested interest in keeping the two friends separate.

“What the fuck did you do?”

_“Lets just say we have some differing views on what’s best for Dorothy”_

Toni didn’t doubt it. Every social worker she’d ever had did the same thing, they all thought they knew what was best when they didn’t know shit about anything.

“Do you think she’d ever let this happen then?”

If Fatin said no, this whole thing would be a waste of time.

“ _Before the quarantine? No way.. but now she’s on her own all the time… we may actually pull this off”_

* * *

Rachel wasn’t exactly known for being subtle. The plan was to casually hint that Fatin wasn’t happy at home over the next few weeks, but she’d dropped the ‘Fatin’s being kicked out’ bombshell on everyone as soon as she sauntered into the study room on Thursday. That wasn’t even remotely part of the plan, and Toni was pissed.

As Fatin was put on the spot and started spilling some story about what was going on at home, Toni messaged Rachel under the table.

**What happened to doing this slowly?**

**Listen, I’m just speeding up the process**

**You can thank me later**

_“ Oh fuck dude, If it’s really that bad I could talk to Gretch about letting you stay with me?”_

Toni couldn’t tell if what Fatin had said was true or not, but if it was then she didn’t exactly have a good home life either. Who would have thought.

Her phone buzzed again.

**See?**

As mad as she was about the smug tone, Rachel had been right. As fucking usual.

**Shut up,**

**you’re lucky Fatin is a good bullshitter**

Rachel was about to reply with a snarky comment, Toni could see it in her eyes, but Dot clocked her texting and swatted the phone out of Rach’s hand.

_“ Kids these days, always on their damn phones”_

With the first step of the plan in motion, Toni finally started to relax again. She’d been on edge since her rooftop conversation with Dot and had spent the past few days thinking about all the ways this plan could backfire on her. This could either go really well, or really badly, but either way at least it was out of their hands now...

“Didn’t you invite that Leah girl this time?” Fatin’s voice broke into Toni’s daydreaming and reminded her of Leah’s existence. She’d totally forgotten about her.

Fatin clearly hadn’t. She was looking intently at Dot, who’d just shoved a handful of chips into her mouth.

Dot wiggled her eyebrows at Fatin and didn’t answer. Instead she ate another handful and winked. There was definitely something going on there, but Toni didn’t really care what it was. She was more freaked out by the possibility of adding a new person to their group.

Nora looked up from her book and answered instead, oblivious to the fact that Dot and Fatin were having a moment.

_“Yeah she did, she invited her last week too, she always says no”_

Dot’s quest to keep an eye on the new girl was proving difficult. Leah was nothing but nice to Dot and always replied when spoken to in class, but always declined any further steps towards friendship. She was clearly an introvert, but that didn’t stop Dot from trying.

Never the one for passing up on an opportunity to bully Fatin, Toni replied “I bet California scared her off”

_“For the last time Toni, calling people where they’re from is NOT a nickname”_

Not wanting to be left out, Nora chimed in.

 _“ Yeah technically it’s an observation”_

As the rest of the girls descended into an argument about what qualified as a nickname, Toni tried to remember the last time she’d seen Leah in class. She’d been there the first day, Toni definitely remembered that, but as the weeks went on and she’d been distracted by other things, the elusive pale girl had sunk to the back of her mind.

_“I know what you’re thinking”_

Toni rolled her eyes at Rachel, who’d slipped away from the others and was now busy psychoanalysing her.

_“ I don’t want her to join either”_

Toni could always count on Rach to back her up, and if they hadn’t been so eerily similar Toni would have considered shooting her shot with her. Rach was smart, funny and could definitely match Toni’s energy in an argument, but after careful consideration Toni had decided that if they dated, one of them wouldn’t make it out alive. 

“ Fatin seems pretty interested”

_“ That’s just because she has a thing for English Lit girls, she’ll get over it”_

Toni hoped she did. It her taken her a month to get used to everyone here and her friendship quota was maxed out. If she made anymore friend’s people would start thinking she was a nice person.

* * *

After spending all evening cleaning up after another awkward family Friday dinner, Toni was finally released upstairs and went to check her phone. Her heart stuttered at a text notification from the she devil herself.

**What are we doing about the homework this week?**

**Have you done it or do you just want me to do it**

Shit. In the whole Dot drama Toni had completely forgotten that it was her turn to do the math homework and it was due tomorrow. After the Andrew incident they’d come to an agreement that they’d take it in turns so it would look like they were doing it together and hadn’t spoken without insulting each other since. Until the detention three days ago.

After their brief exchange during detention there had been a weird shift in the atmosphere between the two. Probably because Toni’s head was filled with Dot instead of Shelby for a change.

Before she even had time to respond, Shelby sent another message.

**Don’t bother, I’ll do it.**

Toni may have forgotten about the homework, but she hadn’t forgotten the look on Shelby’s face when she asked her if she was okay. There was clearly something going on with her and for a brief second, Toni thought about reaching out to her again.

Nah. Not after last time. Toni’s attempt at civility was met with a swift rejection, again, and Toni wondered why she even bothered asking in the first place. Admittedly, she was intrigued by Shelby’s hot and cold attitude towards her, but she put that thought aside.

Right now she had more pressing issues to deal with.

November was slipping by fast, and if Toni was going to be able to visit Martha at any point near Christmas, she really needed to get a job. Not that she really cared about Christmas, it was just another stupid reminder of everything A) she didn’t have, and B) she couldn’t afford. Still, Marty and her siblings adored the holidays and Toni needed to get back to them to visit at least once.

Her luck must have been changing, as everything around here was starting to open back up. There was even talk of small groups being allowed to gather soon, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up. She was already being way too optimistic about travelling at Christmas, she couldn’t afford to hope for any more.

In the early stages of her exile here Toni had attempted to get a job, just to get out of the house, but nowhere was hiring. Plus she was reluctant when she didn’t know much about her new foster parents. The last ones she was with had started taking a chunk of her pay as “rent” as soon as they found out she was working, and Toni had vowed to never let that happen again. These guys, as annoyingly Jesus freaky as they were, had earned a bit more of her trust than her last placement and Toni finally felt ready to start earning some money. With that in mind she messaged Dot and asked if she knew anywhere that had openings available.

**Why are you only asking me?**

**You could have just asked the group chat**

**Does it look like the others have worked a day in their lives?**

**You make a fair point**

* * *

As it turned out, the small Diner Dot had worked a few shifts a week at was hiring. They’d been open all the way through the pandemic so far, but Dot had stopped going the day they announced the stay at home order. Working in customer service was already bad enough, but peoples general lack of common sense and decency put her off.

It wouldn’t be so bad with Toni though. The more Dot got to know about her the more Dot liked her, and after two months of talking every day, Dot could safely say she loved the bitch. Not that she’d tell her that yet, she knew it would only scare Toni off, but as they worked their first shift together on the next Wednesday evening Dot felt herself being happier than she had In a long time.

She’d asked her social worker that weekend if she would ever consider letting Fatin live with her, but Gretchen was undecided. She couldn’t let Dot live on her own much longer, shed been trying to find a way to keep her in her Dad’s house since he passed away and she was running out of options. This girl living with Dot would help her get around that, but she didn’t exactly like the idea of letting Dot and her friend run rampant in a house on their own. Especially with Dot and this Fatin girl’s history.

Gretchen left Dot with a maybe, which was enough for Dot. As long as she’d at least tried to help Fatin out of a bad situation, Dot was happy. She almost couldn’t believe what Fatin had said about getting kicked out, but wasn’t exactly surprised. Fatin hated that hellhole and it was only a matter of time before she did something that would get her in serious trouble…

_“ Order up for table 4”_

_“That’s you Dorothy, get your ass in gear”_

Toni was thriving in this job, which Dot hadn’t expected. Yeah she had a bad attitude with most of the customers, but this Diner had a bit of a reputation for that anyway, and Toni was fast on her feet.

_“ Your new friend’s fitting in well here”_

Sal came up behind her and gave her a quick bear hug. It was the first time she’d seen him since her dad died so she allowed it. He hadn’t been to work since he’d heard and today was coincidentally his first day back too. Fate was a funny thing.

“ Yeah I thought you could do with some new faces, everyone’s dropping like flies here”

This was her dad’s favourite place to eat, and before he’d gotten too sick to leave the house she’d often come here with him to visit her dad’s best friend.

_“ It’s good to see you Dottie girl, I’ve been worried about you”_

Join the club, Dot thought as she watched Toni argue with a lady over her order. Anywhere else and she’d be in trouble, but Sal just laughed.

_“ You’ve picked a good one there Dottie”_

“ Yeah I know”

* * *

Toni’s first shift was going pretty well. It was the nightshift now and Dot had finally gone home. They’d only started late in the afternoon buy by nine Toni could tell Dot was exhausted and ready to leave. She’d seen Dot hug the manager goodbye and wondered how they knew each other, but didn’t question it. As long as she had a job she wasn’t gonna complain how she’d got it.

_“ You wanna stay on an extra few hours? You seem like you’d be good with the late night crowd”_

“ Sure. I’ve got nowhere else to be”

As a rule, Toni never usually trusted older guys, or guys in general really. But Sal was turning out to be the exception. She was still wary, but not as much as she would have been with another manager. Dot clearly liked him, and he let her get away with being a bitch to customers when they deserved it, so they had a good thing going.

Sal’s assumption had been right, and as the night progressed, Toni began dealing with the Drunk customers. Most of them were okay, just older people that had been kicked out of all the other places down the street. The few that weren’t soon realised how intimidating she could be when she wanted to. She may have only been 5”3, but they listened to her if she told them to shut the fuck up when they were being too loud. Her experiences with drunk foster parents were coming in handy it seemed.

 **How’s your first shift going?** 😊

Toni immediately felt guilty. She’d been so busy the past few weeks that she’d barely had time to talk to Martha. They’d been catching up on the weekends, but their usual weekday conversations were dwindling rapidly and Toni missed them. She needed to make more of an effort with Martha.

Fuck. She had her hands full.

Oh well, at least if she was busy she didn’t have time to think about how fucked up her life was. This job was definitely going to tank her grades, but at least she would have some money. That was what was important right now and Toni had learned to live in the moment.

All was going well until around eleven when Toni heard a group of kids shouting down the street. There was no law to say that you had to stay inside, but the fact that other people could go about their normal lives while she had to work during a pandemic made her angry. She couldn’t blow this though. She had to keep calm. Dot had done Toni a massive favour and she couldn’t fuck this up on the first day, she had to get to like, a month in at least. Marty and Dot would never let her live it down otherwise

While Toni was clearing a table facing away from the door, a gust of wind and the familiar bell let her know somebody had come in. It was a 24/7 diner, but this was a Texan suburb in the middle of the bible belt, so not many people were coming in at this time at night.

Just as she turned round to greet them, she froze.

This had to be fucking nightmare. No way was this actually happening.

It was a bunch of about 5 kids she recognised from online class, with Andrew at the front.

Initially she thought that Shelby was with them, which would have been bad enough, but after searching for her she saw something that was far worse.

Andrew tried to move away, but it was already too late

Toni had already clocked the lipstick on his cheek; his obviously not buttoned up shirt and most importantly, his hand up the skirt of a girl that was definitely not Shelby Goodkind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The teachings about the moon are ones I found while researching Ojibwe culture. I hope it's okay that I mentioned them in this story but if anyone has any isuues with it I'm more than happy to remove that specific section <3
> 
> https://onlc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/13-Moon-curriculum2.pdf
> 
> This specific PDF I found is from the Ontario Native Literacy Coalition and was extremely interesting to read. I highly recommend it :)


End file.
